Photo Credit: FLOW Coaching ServicesEducation
Staying Connected With Your College Freshman
Talking with your teenager can be a challenge, even about the most mundane subjects. We’ve all been met with an eye roll or a curt “fine” after asking, “How was your day?”
Now that your teen is away at college, staying connected can feel even harder—even with all the technology at our fingertips. The good news: you can co-create a communication plan with your teen that makes staying in touch more meaningful and less stressful for both of you.
Co-Create a Communication Plan
- Schedule a weekly call. Let your teen suggest a time that works for them, knowing they’ll have space and privacy. This helps you avoid the constant wondering of when you’ll hear from them next, while giving them room to practice independence.
- Establish boundaries. Decide together what’s off-limits unless they bring it up (dating life, for example), and agree on what counts as an emergency.
- Pick your mode. FaceTime, voice call, text? Let them choose what works best in their environment.
- Texting rules. Define how often is “too much,” and set an expectation for acknowledgments. (When my son was in college, we agreed he’d send at least a 👍🏽 if a specific response wasn’t needed.)
- Clarify support. Ask your teen how they’d like to be supported. A simple “Do you want advice, or do you just want me to listen?” can go a long way.
Keep Conversations Flowing
- Ask open-ended questions. Instead of “How’s school?” try, “What’s been the highlight of your week?”
- Listen without judgment. Resist the urge to jump in with solutions or opinions. Instead, reflect their words back or ask, “What are your thoughts on that?”
- Reassure them. Let them know you love them and are proud of them—no strings attached to grades or achievements. Even if they roll their eyes, it matters.
Strengthen Your Connection From Afar
- Send motivational messages. A short text, a postcard, or even a weekly quote that doesn’t require a reply can be a thoughtful way to say, “I’m thinking of you.”
- Put together care packages. Keep it simple—favorite snacks, toiletries, gift cards, or a handwritten note.
- Plan a visit. Give your teen control of the itinerary, but be okay with time apart while you explore campus or the town on your own.
- Know the resources. Familiarize yourself with your child’s campus support services—academic, emotional, and mental health—so you can guide them if needed.
The bottom line: It’s never too late to pause, reset, and create a communication plan that works for both you and your teen. Setting expectations together helps you stay connected, while giving them space to grow.
Even the most capable students benefit from structured support during this transition. That’s why I created the flexible and affordable Coaching & Connection Series—to give freshmen a space to clarify their goals, align with their values, and create action steps to move forward. Through virtual one-on-one coaching sessions (and the support of a group community), students gain the kind of guidance that helps them thrive, not just survive, their first semester. It’s not too late to get started–email me today to learn more. Rebecca Wells has worked with teens for over 25 years as a high school volunteer, mentor, teacher, coach, and assistant principal. Get Started
Source: FLOW Coaching Services
